Mom You Are Loved, Remember to Love Yourself

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Moms, you are appreciated.  You are loved beyond measure.  You are your children’s rock and safe place. Motherhood can feel all too thankless and we often forget to care for ourselves. Alexandra reminds us how much we matter- and that practicing regular self-care is critical to be your best self in all that you do.

 

gratitude for mom self care adviceAlexandra is the founder & blogger of The Happy Life Formula. She is passionate about living a happy life through wellness, love, fun, lifestyle, money, gratitude and purpose. You can check out her blog or follow her on Facebook or Pinterest!

I distinctly remember being in the car with my mother when I was 22 years old and home for some time off from college.

 

In the car is when it is easiest to have conversations that are difficult, awkward, or meaningful since the other person can’t exactly run away and is forced to listen to whatever you have to say.

 

Usually, it had been my mom having one of these conversations with me. But on that day, I took a moment to let her know something that had been on my mind after conversations with all of the people and friends I had met at school.

 

Mom, I just wanted to thank you for being the parent that you are. You encouraged, inspired, enabled and loved me through my years and I wanted to say thank you.

 

Mamas, while I may not be a mother yet, I am a daughter. In that moment I realized how much time, energy, love, and sacrifice my mom gave to me.  I was finally able to express my sincerest gratitude to her for mothering me when I was 22.

 

It took me 22 years to put into words the thank you that she deserved for shaping me into the person I am today. So I want you to remember a few things as you continue your journey with motherhood (and I hope I remember to take my own advice when I become a mother!)

mom self care mom love

You have to love yourself first

 

I know, you’ve probably heard this advice a million times but sometimes I think we need to remind ourselves of this a million more times!

 

Yes, I know you have tiny humans relying on you to meet all of their needs, but in order to do so you need to be well taken care of yourself.

 

You know on an airplane, when they are going through the safety instructions and they always remind you that in the event of an emergency, you need to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others? That same example applies to every day life.

 

mom self care self love

 

What does this mean?

 

Find some time to practice self-care. Ask your partner to watch the kids while you take a shower alone, without little ones prying the door open. Link up with your neighbors to take turns watching the kids so that you can take a nap or read a book for pleasure. Have grandma and grandpa take the kids for a weekend so you can visit a spa or hang out with your girlfriends.

 

I promise you, it is OKAY to take time for yourself! It will make you a happier person who will bring more to your interactions with your family. You’ll have new experiences to share and more love to give if you are filling your own bucket with love.

 

Your children’s opinions are the ones that matter

 

I thought that when middle school and high school were over it would mean the end of drama and judgmental people. Turns out, some of these people never grow out of middle and high school.

 

But guess what? Who cares what these people think of you! I know it is tempting to feel mom-shamed by other mothers who are posting photos of the handmade dresses they sewed for their daughters while making them organic bento box lunches and hosting Pinterest worthy birthday parties for their 2 year olds who won’t remember them. But the only opinions you need to listen to?

 

 Your children’s.

 

They are the ones that matter. They are the ones who should be driving your decisions and they are the ones who you want to make happy. And I promise you, in their eyes, you are doing an amazing job.

 

You don’t have to be perfect

 

There is a quote by Voltaire that sums this up beautifully:

 

“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.”

 

What this means is stop letting the fear of not being perfect paralyze you and prevent you from taking any action towards something that can be good!

Baking a cake for your child’s birthday is an act of love, it doesn’t have to look like the perfectly frosted creations you see in the bakery window. Doing something and enjoying the process of spending the time with your loved ones is what matters.

 

Besides, I bet your kids and your family think you are pretty perfect already!

 

My hope for you, moms, is that you stop being so hard on yourselves. You may not hear the thank yous or the profound proclamations of how wonderful you are for many, many years but I promise you that a mother is a precious gift to a child. You may never know how loved you truly are, but I promise you, you are.

 

Xoxo

Alexandra

Mama, if you are ready to show yourself more of the love you deserve, check out the FREE 30 page self-care workbook made just for you right here, at Our Happy Imperfection. Or find more mothering inspiration here.

Free Self Care for Moms Printable Workbook

Until next time,

Sarah

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54 Comments

  1. Joleene

    I have to constantly remind myself to LOVE myself. It can be hard to do, but I think the more I say it and remember I am worthy, the more colorful and beautiful life becomes.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      It is so hard to remember sometimes!

      Reply
  2. Fi Morrison

    It’s so important to look after ourselves. As a new mum to an 8 month old, I’m only now trying my best to find time to take care of myself. I heard a great quote that has stuck with me “we need to be the best versions of ourselves in order to be he best mums we can be”. Thank you for sharing Alexandra!

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      It definitely requires conscious effort to take care of ourselves in those early months!

      Reply
  3. Tee

    What a great post Sarah/Alexandra! As a daughter and a first-time-mum, I can certainly relate and agree. I didn’t always tell my mum how much i loved her growing up but now i say it a lot (mostly in my mind, lol). And as a mum to an under 2, i know she loves me especially when her face lifts up as soon as she sees me. I get kisses too when we’ve been apart for a few hours, lol. But obviously when I’m tired or feeling down, I can easily forget.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      It is easy to forget when we are feeling burnt out- which makes self-care that much more important!

      Reply
  4. Ashlee @ The Normal Mom’s Guide

    This is a great post. I struggle with self care and guilt – as in, I feel guilty any time I take time for myself or purchase something for myself and not my kids. But there are sweet moments where my 5 year old will say thanks for something as simple as buying her a new shampoo, or helping her with her room. It’s super important for us to love ourselves, too! Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      I have these same struggles! It is wonderful when we see our hard work with our sweet children paying off 💗

      Reply
  5. Vivianna

    Our children’s opinion of us matters most, so true. This was beautiful!

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Glad you enjoyed it!

      Reply
  6. Geneva | Making Money Add Up

    I’m not a mother either but I relate to Alexandria. I would occassionally write both my parents letters expressing my gratitude and how much I truly appreciated them. What a lovely post. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Glad you enjoyed it, I’m sure your parents loved your notes!!

      Reply
  7. Eryn

    So perfectly said. ❤ As a Mom, especially with young children, it’s a hard concept to grasp let alone make happen. But that doesn’t mean it’s not vital for our sanity!

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      I’m glad this resonated with you! It is so hard!

      Reply
  8. Amanda Rinehart

    Hallelujah! The words every mother is waiting to hear! I’m sure this was music to your mommas ears. I know it would be to mine. And I too, hope you can remember to practice what you’ve preached here when your time comes.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Glad you enjoyed Alexandra’s piece, I hope she remembers too!

      Reply
  9. Stephanie Lowry

    This is such a great reminder. Those words you said to your mother, know that those meant the world to her!

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Glad you enjoyed Stephanie!

      Reply
  10. Alexandra | The Happy Life Formula

    Thank you all for your lovely comments! I am glad it struck a chord with you all and I hope to take all my own advice when I am blessed to become a mom myself.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Thanks again for contributing, Alexandra!

      Reply
  11. Emily

    Loved this! You can never have too many reminders to love yourself!!

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Glad it was appreciated! I agree ☺️

      Reply
  12. Rochelle Valle

    This is definitely something that I have to remind myself of. I think I am my biggest critic by far!

    With Love Rochelle

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      I think that’s common with good mamas 💗 thanks for reading!

      Reply
  13. Rebecca

    Learning to love yourself is hard and as moms, we are harder on our selfs than others. you are right we need to love our self for we are loved by our children.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Glad this message resonated with you!

      Reply
  14. Nicole | The Professional Mom Project

    Love this post! Brought a smile to my face on a dreary rainy day. Thanks 🙂

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      I’m so glad, you’re very welcome!

      Reply
  15. Milena

    Great timing on this post as I’ve been having a few days of feeling overwhelmed. I learned today that I just need to ask my kids for help and I will get it. I just needed to slow down.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      I’m so glad it was encouraging for you!

      Reply
  16. Liz Mays

    This is really sweet. We do need to remind ourselves of these things from time to time. Self care is not something to overlook.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      I’m glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reading!

      Reply
  17. Nicole

    I agree with this on so many levels. Self-love is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Once you love yourself, everything else seems to align in harmony.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      So glad this piece resonated with you!

      Reply
  18. Stephanie Jeannot

    How lovely and true. As I look at mine and seeing how much she truly does for me whether days are good or bad, she never stops sharing love. Great post.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Glad you enjoyed it!

      Reply
  19. Ashley

    Amen! I don’t have to be perfect! This sounds like a beautiful tribute to moms everywhere.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Glad you enjoyed it!

      Reply
  20. Lois Alter Mark

    This is such a beautiful and important post. We can all be so hard on ourselves, and we need to remember that quote about perfect being the enemy of good.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      That quote spoke to my soul! I’m so glad Alexandra included it.

      Reply
  21. colleen

    Great post and m essage! And you are so right, some of the best conversations happen in cars 🙂

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Glad you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

      Reply
  22. Nolie

    What an amazing post. I am always so hard on myself. Thankfully my mom and my husband point out all the time that I am an amazing woman and mother. I need to remind myself more often.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      I struggle with this too, so glad you enjoyed it!

      Reply
  23. Paula Atwell

    My mom and I have different ideas of the world, but we still have a great relationship. I tend to have lots of conversations with my kids in the car, but I didn’t with my own mother. Lovely article.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      The car is a great place for good talks! Thanks!

      Reply
  24. Jennifer

    This is beyond sweet. I bet your mother would cherish this. Such a beautiful little tribute. Sometimes it can be hard not to take our mothers for granted. Love the post!

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Glad you enjoyed it!

      Reply
  25. carissa

    I love this- “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.”
    What a great message you are giving us, and, such an important reminder.
    I am always focusing on my weaknesses and the list of things to do for others- time for a little self praise.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      I’m glad reading this was encouraging!

      Reply
  26. Jazmin

    Love this message. You’re better at giving when you’ve taken the time to recharge yourself.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      Definitely! When I’m struggling most I realize my cup is empty.

      Reply
  27. Emily

    This is so important! I have always felt that focusing on my kids, and valuing their opinion on how I am doing is the best. Everyone has an opinion on how we are are parents but the kids are the only one that matters.

    Reply
    1. Sarah – Our Happy Imperfection

      It is so easy to get caught up in society’s acceptance but ultimately it is our kids and families that matter.

      Reply

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