I just found kitten teeth in my 10 month old’s mouth. Sucking on them like delicious hard candies. Kitten.Teeth.In.My.Baby’s.Mouth.Y’all I can’t even. This same baby has had roseola this week. This is the glorious 5th day of this stupid childhood illness where the fever has broken and the rash has appeared. But you wouldn’t know it. Miss happy pants is NOT happy today. But those damn kitten teeth only she could possibly find made her happy by golly. And now she’s mad as hell I took away her fun.
This same child had an explosive diaper last weekend. In the car. We only figured it out (much, much too late) because we heard choking noises. Y’all. She was choking ON HER POOP. Her poop she had smeared like body butter all over her freshly bathed baby skin. I had almost convinced myself this week’s fever illness was related to the feces ingestion.
Anyway. It’s been a week of so much Sofia the damn First I might assassinate her royal family myself. But sometimes you do what you gotta do to keep the bigger little happy and quiet enough to nurse and rest the smaller little. I’m over a week behind on laundry and haven’t had clean underwear in 3 days. Yep. I’m burnt slap out. And I’m messaging my husband as he works saying “I suck at being a mom” and “So much Sofia this week I feel like scratching my eyes out”. I’m not lying about our Sofia ingestion this week. I’m rightfully ashamed. But he says “Stop with that horseshit…I said stop.”
And maybe he’s right. Maybe I think I suck at the mom thing precisely because I DON’T suck at it. I’ve cuddled and giggled and nursed these babies, I’ve snuggled them to sleep and comforted them when they wake, I’ve carefully treated high fevers, I’ve made play doh creations, I’ve read books, I’ve told stories, I’ve sung songs and I’ve danced, I’ve made meals, I’ve given baths, I’ve changed countless diapers. I’ve done puzzles and played boardgames and practiced the ASL alphabet. And so much more. Just in the past week of illness I’ve done all of these things and more and I feel like I suck? Maybe the only thing that sucks is how harshly I can judge myself.
This motherhood thing is tough y’all, I’m so far from perfect on any given day, but dear goodness these kids know love. When I take a moment to realize that, when I reflect on that goal and see how it’s playing out in their day to day interactions…well…I far from suck.
Stay strong mamas. Also, check the floors for kitten teeth.
Make me feel better. What is the grossest thing your child has tried to eat?